Wicked Lady: Late Learner

From the womb I was aggressive, physically sadomasochistic, curious, a super eater, annoying and forever plotting and doing; despite these traits however I rarely considered psychological powers, mind games and/or play; I still do not understand "bitchiness" and still I rarely take offence however, it has dawned on me gradually, evenso more recently that how in my supposed total control, I, yes, the (hopefully) infamous Mistress Sadie of London, have been cultivated - topped from the bottom some may say but to which I will argue that if the bottom cultivates or incites to remain bottom or further his cause to even lower depths then it is all acceptable. Though I am sure they will deny wrongdoing - I, am now their wicked creation instead of solely being my own. Not to say they have been to blame for all the wickedness I have unleashed over these years, more they are to be blamed for the ever blossoming pleasure I find in every wicked deed where before I recognised little or none. Only recently, gradually over say 5/6 years, have I come to recognise fully, empathy - more importantly IT in others and my lack of it, attraction and it's powers- how I cannot handle male attention well but can grasp it if needed, manipulation and and of a person in every way possible to extremities in some cases. Emotional maturity at such a late stage indeed lack of it has been my making as a Domme primarily but my long term projects - my subbies - as I call them through ups and downs have showed me the joy of wickedness for wickedness sake and pleasure in their weaknesses as part and parcel. Example 1. Once by one once dear Subbie (AS) I was re-imagined after some years as ever more evil assuming each scene to take him where he wished - to the edge, which was his end to my beginning. Madness, I considered was his choosing whilst it chose me long ago to both my very benefit and handicap to this very day. He wanted to be broken and I was the perfect woman to do it bearing no fear, no shame, innate perversion; importantly dominant and impossible. I enjoyed breaking him but only after some time and persuasion. At times I still doubt his descent into paranoia and general decline all of which was entangled in our game to the point of unidentifiable boundaries - when fantasy and reality became a blur. Don't get me wrong, dear reader, for I do not wish to lay malicious blame at my lowly males' doors but I wish to let them know that what they need at times but fear at most has become me and it was they who shewed [sic] me so. To be continued...