Instant recifications; bringing him down a peg

Perusing my website this very evening I was aghast to find a grammatical mistake which made my blood boil for more than one reason - not only was this sound abuse of the English language but who, ultimately, pays for the mistake I ask you? myself, that is who! Mistress Sadie - presented as careless for all to see! Well, I shall jolly well make sure that the record is set straight and that however much I pay is paid back to me doubly so.

A lowly web squirt called Bert(no rhyme intended)decides every now and then to change things as he feels is correct however Bert fails to see that his literary perspective is firmly skewed, his grammar in the gutter and his enthusiasm unknown to a boundary or two; even if one (a boundary) hit him on the nose. The simple fact of the matter was that he was told not to amend text unless I said so; that he was to paste text from my email. I am therefore positively fuming.

In light of this, One has to let it be known that One can only take so much incompetence before taking firm action. Below is the mistake, that I promptly sent in an email to slave Bert himself, outlined for all to see.

Bert
It has come to my attention that you have added Mistress (in large bold type) so that it does not replace 'I' but replicates Mistress Sadie - I should inform you that semi-colons do not indicate the end of a sentence but can be used for; lists, to avoid confusion with commas; clauses, with relation to the previous remark/statement; (and/or) clauses that are too short to be a sentence. I do also believe that very long pauses can also call for semicolons; lets hope you agree.

The sentence in question, your twisted version that is, therefore reads without the clauses and lists in between -

Mistress Sadie, once lost,...;Mistress Sadie is now most certainly found....

SHOULD BE!

Mistress Sadie, once lost,...;...;is now most certainly found...

Here One could use commas but chooses to use semicolons especially in the state of their of decline.

Low sluts like you need to know the correct way.

This, rather your, unforgivable version DOES NOT MAKE SENSE! I would have not, in any instance, given the go ahead for this - I have told you regarding text that you are not to change it - I am to change it and send it to you. What came over you? Explain.

In light of this rash behaviour and resultant embarrassment to E/everyone all round, you are to write a disclaimer at the bottom (included below) before the copyright sign and a letter of apology which shall explain both how and why you caused this awful mess, and due distress to your Mistress - this shall duly be posted on the Blog for all to see.

After this fiasco, a strong word I am aware, I hope you do not make any repeats and I certainly hope you've not gone skiing and that you can make it to Pedestal whereby you shall be punished in a most public manner.

Ms